Valentine's Spa day...

This is all hypothetical...
boyfriend and girlfriend go to a spa for a couples spa day...this should be relaxing right? well... the first step is to change into robes and get naked...Boyfriend is slightly too large for robe so entire package is hanging out...They go into a candle lit room that resembles an embalming room, fully equiped with draining tub, two tables, some chocolate and fruit. Soon after two small asian ladies in matching floral speedos enter and demand everyone get naked and lie face up on the two tables...I don't know about you, but that's just a little personal... So there they are laughing hysterically, very uncomfortable...NOT ROMANTIC! Then the torture begins...the asian squad starts furiously scrubbing the shit out of them with loofa gloves! Ok, still naked, face up next to eachother...now being scrubbed to death. Following the skin peeling, they are both lubed up and rubbed down. As sexy as this might be, it wasn't and the whole naked part...not getting any better. The final "treatment" would be a squirting of milk that covers the whole body, to be followed by a hosing down. As the experiment comes to a close they are told to sit up, face each other and exit the room...STILL NAKED! I would not recommed this as a first date...OMG!