I truly believe that people leave your life and return for a reason. We meet friends, we lose friends, we hurt each other sometimes unknowingly and sometime intentionally. Overall we are driven by emotion when it comes to friendship, so making rational decisions in times of crisis are rare.
So the normal pattern is explosion, sadness, angry again and then apathy. basically the steps of grief. There's that time period between the anger and apathy when you are finally able to see through the fog and decide whether or not this is worth it...the friendship that is. Sometimes you're like, "this is dumb, I love this person what the hell are we fighting for?" and then there are times when you just think to yourself, "this is so not worth it. I just don't care anymore and I'm not going let myself be sucked back in." And friendships continue and end everyday after thoughts just like these. This process can take a very short amount of time as in a few days or might even take months to finish! Anyway, this is how I work. All of my fights with friends have followed this pattern...except for one.
This one fight with two of my closest friends from college never actually happened. But from one month to another our friendships dissolved and I was left with tons of pictures of us and happy memories that I thought we'd relive at our weddings together! At the time it felt like the end of the world, but I can't remember exactly how it happened. There was no fight, no confrontation, no actual reason we stopped being friends...oh wait, yes there was. This girl, let's called Krazy Bunnett. She managed in 6 months to manipulate her way into our circle and play us all for fools. The thing is I didn't realize any of this till this weekend when at my sorority reunion I saw them again. I was terrified that they were till angry and they were! After 5 years of thinking about them and wondering what was going on in their lives I was faced with the reality that they were still angry about "something," and I wasn't going to have the chance to talk to them. By the end of the night I couldn't take it anymore and approached one of them. We quickly started talking about our lives and weddings and babies...crazy! one of them is pregnant! I finally addressed the issue and to both of our surprise we were both under very different impressions of what happened. They had been manipulated but this crazy girl and I had been left out in the cold. I never knew what happened, but now I'm getting a pretty clear picture. So we laughed and hugged and it felt amazing! I just hope that after all these years we can rebuild a friendship that was incredible...at least to me it was.
BUT! here's the thing..in that time period where I "lost" these friends I met my current closest friends in college! These girls are amazing and I can't imagine my life without them. So this poses a question...would I do it over again differently? Would I want that fight to never have happened, meaning I would never have become close with these other girls? I don't know! But, I do know that they are some of the best things to ever happen in my life! I guess I'm pretty lucky now...I have them and have reunited with these girls that meant so much to me. When did i get so lucky!!!
Anyway, I had to write this down because it's just so great. To see them again and to talk felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders! They are doing so well and are so happy and I couldn't have wished for anything more for them...well, now a healthy baby for one of them! (still can't believe that)
I guess things really do happen for a reason.
No comments:
Post a Comment