Weddings are expensive. I don't know who in Manhattan has decided they are GOD and has set this incredibly high pricetag on anything and everything that has to do with weddings,but I'm pissed off and fed up... and sad.
For the past two weeks Ken and I have been running around the city looking at some great loft spaces for our wedding. We found a few that we really loved and started to actually have a vision for our wedding. Saturday morning we got the budgets...Each venue had it's budget under it and we could see and compare all the numbers. They were all insane! I'm talking at the end of the day way over $100k and this is not even the best...this is, "well, we wanted a loft space and this is the cheapest we can do it for..." uhmmmm no.
Then my parents of course call and are flipping out about how they can't believe this and what the hell is going on?! AND the thing is...they're right. They are 100% right and I can't argue with them. This is their money and I don't feel right about it.
So here we are again...back to square one with no venue and now, no vision. I don't know what I want anymore...At this point I'm thinking an empty beach on an island...
Who is this wedding about? Who is it for? Do I really want to have a $100k party so that my friends can get drunk and dance...? Don't they do that on the weekend anyway?
Is this about my parents and their friends? Is it so grandma can have some cake? I'm so confused and discouraged by this whole ordeal. It's very emotionally taxing and there are so many high's and low's that I wonder if it's all worth it? Isn't this about us getting married???? Where did that whole idea go?
The next couple weeks should be interesting. We are starting over and trying to figure out what we want and what works. Hopefully I'll have better news next time:)
7 comments:
Aw, babe. Please DON'T BE SAD. This is a time for joy!! Nothing bad has happened -- you're just learning what you really want out of the day!
I don't think there was anything wrong with your previous vision other than the pricetag. Sure, at the end of the day it's a big party, but it's an event that's worthy of a big party FOR YOU if that's what you want!
And if the big party isn't what you really want, beaches are fabulous too :) I know you, wherever your wedding is it will be stylish and a lovely event.
--MMS
I totally think that everyone loses sight of what your wedding is supposed to be about these days. Your friends & family will have fun no matter what or where it is--as long as it's about you and your boy that's all that matters.
I very recently had the same problem- we then took 20 of our closet friends and family and got married in St Lucia!!! I highly recommend it
i have been in your exact position. it was awful. we wanted a small wedding, my mom and grandmother (since it was their pageant) wanted every member of the family there.
we finally decided on a happy medium. not all family, but most. sinc emy parents were paying for it, i couldn't say no.
it is about you and your groom. remember that. it's your day, it's his day. no one else's. have what YOU want. you can take suggestions, but it's your decision, and your parents too.
during my ordeal, i fought with my grandmother. something i have NEVER done, but the stress of everything and she wanting to invite the entire state of North Carolina just got the best of me.
it IS stressful, there is no denying that, but just know it is YOUR day and no one can take that from you.
i invested in a lot of red wine for my engagement, and it helped. more than you know!
good luck!
We are totally facing the same dilemma. Viewed West Side loft yesterday and had a similar reaction.
We won't compromise on location-it's got to be Manhattan (thats where most of our friends/family live)and and we won't spend anywhere near 100K. Will conitnue to look, just don't want to make a career out of it.
Oh, try Splashlight Studios. More reasonable and very cool.
Polly had it right...friends and family will be happy if you guys are happy.
thanks for the tips girls! We have actually found that it is NOT possible to have a wedding in NYC for under $88k period, for 200 people...
So we're expanding our search, but it seems it'snot much cheaper in Jersey, unless we want to get married in places called, L'affaire and Chanteclair...
We're looking at a place called the Liberty House in Jersey city that has killer views of the city, but also has a terrace and grass and a fab loft like room...but also $$$...
Our families are being pretty cool now...especially since my mom and dad had a chance to do some research on their own and came up with much higher prices than we did we our planner...
at this point, my dad is like, DO it at tribeca rooftop and let's call it a day! but we don't want to do that just yet...
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